Gonzo Gone

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Bush Administration

The New York Times is reporting that “embattled” Attorney General Alberto Gonzales will announce his resignation this morning.

That’s definitely worth a dancing banana.

There are rumors that his replacement will be Michael Chertoff. But Gonzo’s are big paw prints to fill. Certainly, Chertoff is incompetent enough to replace Gonzales, but he lacks the puppy-eager obsequiousness that made Gonzo so endearing.

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25 Comments

24 Comments

  1. Rev. George  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:24 am

    I wonder if he is retiring so he can spend more time with Rove’s family too?

  2. joanr16  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:33 am

    Chertoff is incompetent enough to replace Gonzales, but he lacks the puppy-eager obsequiousness that made Gonzo so endearing.

    There’s really nothing to add to your comment above, maha. You nailed it.

  3. maha  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:37 am

    I was going to volunteer to spend some time with Rove’s family, but I guess I’m not needed now.

  4. Kelly Logan  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:50 am

    It’s peanut-butter jelly time, peanut-butter jelly time!

    And then it’s time to put some pressure on Congress to only accept an Attorney General who pledges to *enforce* the law in this country and to remove politics from the Justice Department.

  5. We Are The 801  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:53 am

    Another rat leaves the proverbial sinking ship. Good riddance!

  6. ken melvin  •  Aug 27, 2007 @10:14 am

    Tres bien.

  7. biggerbox  •  Aug 27, 2007 @10:31 am

    I assume he wants to spend more quality time with his defense lawyer.

    Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead!

  8. Pat  •  Aug 27, 2007 @10:40 am

    Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead!

    Gonzalez, Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, Brown et al are actually those creepy flying moneky creatures. Bush is the witch.

    Besides, he’s just being replaced with another Stepford Bureaucrat.

    Let’s not rejoice too soon. Bush has much more damage and many more screw-ups in store for us.

  9. biggerbox  •  Aug 27, 2007 @12:01 pm

    Upon further reflection, I’m worried. This is perhaps just laying the groundwork for the September roll-out of the “new product”. A sensible White House would nominate an uncontroversial, well-respected figure to replace Gonzo, but this isn’t a sensible White House. I can easily imagine them choosing a very controversial nominee, and making his confirmation part of a full-breadth ‘national security’ campaign, teamed with the Iraq report. If Congress won’t approve Chertoff for Gonzo’s slot, and some Darth Vader-wannabe as Chertoff’s replacement, that will “prove” they don’t want to defend our country, just like those bad things they’re saying about Iraq, where Honorable General Petraeus says we’re making real progress. Turning obvious weaknesses into strengths – it’s what they do.

    Buckle your seatbelts. We’ll be spending September in topsy-turvy land.

  10. Donna  •  Aug 27, 2007 @12:20 pm

    Yes, biggerbox, you articulated something I was feeling. For me it was more along the lines of “Why now, what might be ignored because these are the big headlines for the week and the coming days?”

  11. myiq2xu  •  Aug 27, 2007 @12:29 pm

    I guess they’re finished shredding and burning all the incriminating evidence.

    I hope Fredo remembers where his family is.

  12. Swami  •  Aug 27, 2007 @2:22 pm

    “His good name was dragged through the mud for political reasons,”

    Boo hoo hoo! And I thought it would take a swat team to get Gonzo out of the Justice Dept…Hasta la vista amigo mio y vaya con Dios

  13. My Name is Url  •  Aug 27, 2007 @2:57 pm

    Has Gonzales or Bush or anyone else in fact made a statement saying why he’s stepping down? I mean everyone knows he’s mired in scandal, but they can’t say that for their explanation. Is Gonzales just not giving one, or are they really going to haul out the good old “spending time with his family” excuse that no one in the history of the universe has ever really given up power for?

  14. Kelly Logan  •  Aug 27, 2007 @3:20 pm

    See http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/08/27/bush-on-gonzos-resignation-his-good-name-was-dragged-through-the-mud-for-political-reasons/ for details.

    Partisan politics. Not his hiring of partisan ideologues for Justice Dept. positions. Not his firing of qualified US Attorneys for their refusals to use their office to help Republicans in elections. Not his lies before Congress about domestic surveillance. Not his support of illegal practices that the majority of the justice department upper staff was ready to resign over. Not his declarations that the Executive branch is exempt from the law.

    No, Bush declared today that it was the partisan policies of Democrats who demanded that Gonzales admit what he did in public and who then not only didn’t accept his lies, but had the audacity to try to hold him accountable for his actions! (Well, maybe he didn’t say that exactly, I’m translating a bit. ;^)

  15. Bonnie  •  Aug 27, 2007 @3:37 pm

    To quote and old expression: “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”

  16. wmr  •  Aug 27, 2007 @3:44 pm

    It’s “put up or shut up” now for the Dems in Congress. This may be their last chance to show some independence from the Beltway mindset.

    If we get another Roberts- or Alito-type stealth stooge installed as AG, the netroots are going to go crazy.

  17. myiq2xu  •  Aug 27, 2007 @6:22 pm

    I don’t know what we will get, but I know what we will not get from George Bush: A nominee who is truly worthy of the office.

    He can easily run out the clock by appointing an acting AG and nominating losers.

    He will either nominate a “tabula rasa” or play games so that his temp keeps running things.

    By “tabula rasa” I mean a loyal Bushie without any negatives on his record. This would allow a unified GOP + Loserman + 10 DINO’s to allow him to push through a nobody.

  18. beckya57  •  Aug 27, 2007 @8:09 pm

    My prediction is that we’ll see a truly terrible recess appointment, a la John Bolton as UN ambassador; yet another “up yours” to the Dems, the American people, and the principles of fair play and the rule of law.

    Love that banana, though.

  19. Swami  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:15 pm

    Lots of speculation… don’t know where it’s going or why..but my gut tells me that with Rove and Gonzales jumping ship back to back that Bush is headed for some real rough seas or maybe the rocks. The timing and the connection between Rove and Gonzales leads me to suspect the trail from the fired USA’s hadn’t been cover throughly enough and now they have to try and shake the posse of their trail.

    Gonzales deserves at least two dancing bananas because… Don Quixote just lost his squire.

  20. erinyes  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:17 pm

    Beware of cornered rats………

  21. Sachem  •  Aug 27, 2007 @9:32 pm

    Now the search for the real perjurers can begin!

  22. k  •  Aug 27, 2007 @11:20 pm

    His name was not good and he dragged himself through it. If it was partisan why were so many Republicans embarrassed by him Mr Bush? Fact is he is just a bad prevaricator. Rove Condi Rummy Cheney all lie with ease and bluff shamelessly. Gonzalez just couldn’t lie well and couldn’t remember anything when asked. He worked at DOJ where alot of competent people resent being represented by incompetence. The Dems wanted him gone and the Repubs wouldn’t defend him. He wasn’t good enough at putting on a preformance like say a John Roberts.
    Gonzalez referenced the nobility of public service, funny Bush last week was talking about how noble the Vietnam war was. Suddenly they are characterizing themselves as noble when they have brought nothing but ignobility to their offices. that is why Gonzalez left – no one wanted to work for him anymore.

  23. freD  •  Aug 28, 2007 @2:29 am

    All his friends know the low liar:
    the low liar was a little player.
    Low liar talked a little slower,
    but low liar still a bad perjurer.
    Low liar knew every cheat, yeah!
    Low liar was the one they meet, yeah!
    Low liar ain’t got no pass now,
    low liar don’t run too fast.

    Take your little trip.
    Take your little trip..

  24. amanda  •  Aug 28, 2007 @8:47 am

    I loves me so dancing banana.

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