The McCain Speech

I hate these schmaltzy videos. Volume off.

OMG, you mean McCain was a POW? Wow. Who knew?

I realized tonight that I am older than Cindy McCain. Depressing. I skipped her speech because I was watching the replay of last night’s Project Runway. How was it?

Note to self — when I’m old and gray, no double strands of pearls. Ever. They make you look like Barbara Bush.

Did you know McCain was a POW? They should talk about this more often.

The Dems had more flags. The GOP has more White People.

OOO, somebody has a “McCain votes against vets” sign.

He’s praising Bush for keeping us safe from terriers.

Mama McCain looks amazing for 96.

Somebody poke me when McCain says something substantive.

What’s going on in the audience?

“Please don’t be diverted by the ground noise and the static.” Please don’t be distracted by somebody exercising her first amendment rights.

What’s with the “USA USA” chanting?

Again, somebody poke me when McCain says something substantive.

I believe that if McCain announced he could pick his own nose, the delegates would give him a standing ovation.

He fought lobbyists who stole from Indian tribes? He fought Abramoff and Ralph Reed?

Lots of vacant bleachers in that hall.

How could withdrawal from Iraq have “risked a wider war”?

Has he said anything substantive yet?

Gawd, I’m bored.

Oh, he says he doesn’t believe in government that makes choices for us. Unless you’re pregnant.

McCain: Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie.

McCain: My plan is better. Trust me. Don’t bother yourself about the details.

He still hasn’t said anything substantive. Oh, he’s going to send people to community colleges for re-training. For WHAT?

The re-education thing is a crock. No point re-educating people for jobs that don’t exist.

He’s supporting school vouchers? That’s so last year.

McCain, in a nutshell: When I’m president, everybody gets a pony.

Has he said anything substantive yet?

Republicans wear more stupid hats than Dems do.

He used to be a POW!

Audience: Drunk or bored. No middle ground.

He used the word change.

The constant partisan rancor … that the GOP thrives on.

McCain: I’m better than Obama. Trust me.

Gawd, this is an awful speech.

BooMan has a response.

I had no idea he used to be a POW.

This is a dreadful speech. It’s not just the delivery, which is clunky. The speech itself is bad.

I will never forgive the North Vietnamese for this. I hope they’re watching.

Oh, please, make it stop.

History has anointed him to save the country in its hour of need? Is that what he just said?

Some moran is holding up a sign saying “mavrick.”

Oh, we’re saved. He’s done.

Did he say anything substantive?

My instant analysis — he spoke of many economic problems, but he didn’t speak to them, or provide anything resembling plans for solving them.

Josh Marshall: “I question the wisdom of not letting anyone in the auditorium under 50.”

Ron Beasley: “John McCain and the Republicans had better hope that most people were watching the football game.”

The bobbleheads are asking if the speech worked outside the hall. I don’t think it did. It was boring and content-free.

There was a list of vague objectives — jobs, cheaper energy, health care — no indication he has half a clue how to do these things.

20 thoughts on “The McCain Speech

  1. You know, I think I did hear something about him being a POW, now that you mention it…

    (In fact, I finally blew a fuse and had to rant out my opinion on that over at my place. )

    Daring choice, putting him in front of the green screen again. Apparently, it, like the teleprompter, is busted? If he can’t run a convention, how can he run the country?

    By the way, am I the only one getting a little scared by the energy behind those chants of “U-S-A! U-S-A!”? Is it just me, or are they weirdly militaristic, even fascistic?

    Nice of him to mention his mom’s age of 96. I guess he’s hoping we think he takes after her, and not the grand-dad who keeled over after coming home from watching the Japanese surrender.

    OOoh, they got the screen working! Things ARE looking up for America!

  2. Oh, I see, the USA thing is what they do when protesters pop up.

    That blue is not much better than green as a background.

    Say, could those reaction shots have MORE white people in them? And more BORED people? (Can’t the camera guy find one person of color in the whole hall? It’s pretty pathetic.

  3. Ooh, honey. Mama Biden could kick Mama McCain’s fanny.

    Somebody on wonkette thought they saw someone in the RNC crowd holding up a peace sign, too. Wait… wonkette. Jello shots. Never mind.

    Oh this is almost over YAY this is almost over…. Chester Chipmunk will get his mild applause and we can all return to our normal lives.

  4. What’s going on in the audience?

    “Please don’t be diverted by the ground noise and the static.” Please don’t be distracted by somebody exercising her first amendment rights.

    Hmm. Obama had 80,000 people around him. No protestors in the stadium. Not a one. Hmm.

  5. “I will make sure everyone has a pony! My opponent will take ponies away! And I will make all good things happen. My opponent is a foo-foo-head!” Got to love that GOP style of arguing by simple assertion.

    This speech reminds me of the Monty Python routine about “How to Play the Flute.” You blow at this end, and you move your fingers up and down on the other. That’s how to play the flute!

    Holy crap! They found a black guy! And he’s a vet, with a VFW cap! Awesome. Did they bus him in just for this “securing the peace” section?

  6. Obama had people tearful. McCain has people catatonic.

    Ooh, he has scars. I guess, well, gee, was he a POW??

    Ooh, they found Bobby Jindal with the camera. He’s got color. That’s two!

  7. Would someone explain to me why we shouldn’t find a guy who was able to AVOID flying his plane into a missle? Wouldn’t that be better qualification?

    A couple of those vets look pretty tired of this story. I can only imagine what some of them lived through. Some must be pretty tired of him wearing it on his sleeve like this. Yes, John, a lot of people have had it a lot worse, so shut up already.

  8. Oh, that’s right, I forgot, we are all going to sell coffee for 6 dollars a cup. That takes a lot of training!

  9. You know, he does have a point. It is really great to work for something bigger than yourself, and to help make history as an American.

    That’s why I’m working for Obama.

    Tweety thinks that McCain successfully divorced himself from W. Silly Tweety.

  10. That’s the second night I’ve heard them playing Earth, Wind & Fire’s ‘September’ in the aftermath. I wonder if they got permission and paid royalties?

    I love that song, and now it’s contaminated forever with the memory of watching McCain and Sarah Baracuda. Sigh.

  11. The Obama campaign has now put out a statement of its own. Attributed to spokesman Bill Burton, it reads:

    Tonight, John McCain said that his party was elected to change Washington, but that they let Washington change them. He’s right. He admonished the ‘old, do-nothing crowd’ in Washington, but ignored the fact that he’s been part of that crowd for twenty-six years, opposing solutions on health care, energy, and education. He talked about bipartisanship, but didn’t mention that he’s been a Bush partisan 90% of the time, that he’s run a Karl Rove campaign, and that he wants to continue this President’s disastrous economic and foreign policies for another four years. With John McCain, it’s more of the same.

    That’s not the change Americans need. Barack Obama has taken on the special interests and the lobbyists in Illinois and in Washington, and he’s won. As President, he’ll cut taxes for 95% of all working families, provide affordable health care to every American, end the tax breaks for companies that ship our jobs overseas, and eliminate the oil we import from the Middle East in ten years.

  12. I will never forgive the North Vietnamese for this. I hope they’re watching.

    I laughed many times, but this one really got me.

    I think for every appearance McCain makes, we should time him to see how long it takes him to mention his POW experience.

  13. Ok, can anyone tell me what he meant by saying the environment was the civil rights movements of our time. What does that mean?

  14. Obama had people tearful. McCain has people catatonic.

    My eyes were so dry I had to get out the visine. I guess I just don’t respond to bullshit tales of glory anymore. I did think that during the biographical bullshit prep that when the narrator mentioned about McCain’s father ordering carpet bombing of Hanoi while McCain was a prisoner in Hanoi was untrue. I also thought that the carpet bombings in Vietnam are something that America should be ashamed of, and not something to boast about. Under those fallen bombs were thousands of innocent civilian men, women, and children who were killed and terrorized. I believe the final count of Vietnamese that were killed during that war was 4 million. That’s a lot of Vietnamese killed to prevent them from achieving their own self determination.

    I just don’t get it..how can one claim an abhorrence to war while reveling in its glory? Fuck McCain and the has been horse he rode in on. Who was it who said?…Old soldiers never die, they just re-live their past glories over and over again.

  15. Ref #8 – I work with a woman who was told by a friend that you can’t win an argument by emphatic assertion alone, that you have to offer persuesive facts. My coworker replied, “Watch me.” And it’s remarkable, but she tends to win 95% of her arguments, if only by wearing out her opponent. She’s also something of a rightie… hmmm. Must be something in the cool-aid.

  16. I salute you all. It took guts, great self-sacrifice, and great dedication to country to watch not only the McCain speech but the entire convention coverage. I couldn’t do it.

    With flipper in hand I did find out though that television is a vaster and far more wasted land than Newton Minow could have ever imagined.

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