Why the Dick Is So Not Vindicated

So a Big New Thing comes out, this time the Inspector General Torture Report, and immediately the Right and Left blogosphere read it entirely differently. You’d think there were two IG Torture Reports.

According to the righties, the documents prove that Enhanced Interrogation Techniques (EITs) “work.” The problem with this theory is that the documents, in particular the ones that former Veep Dick “the Dick” Cheney said would vindicate him, don’t exactly say that. I read them last night — or what you could see that wasn’t blacked out — and they didn’t specifically say what techniques were used to obtain what particular information that might have thwarted an actual terrorist plot, as opposed to taking apart the Brooklyn Bridge with a blowtorch. The righties are just seeing in it what they want to see, not what the document actually reveals.

And, anyway, I think my version is better.

Spencer Ackerman has read the documents more closely than I did. And Ackerman argues that the documents reveal that what usable information that was obtained from Khalid Sheikh Mohammed came from traditional interrogation and intelligence work, not “EITs.”

And if you haven’t seen it already, be sure to read Glenn Greenwald’s “What every American should be made to learn about the IG Torture Report.”

5 thoughts on “Why the Dick Is So Not Vindicated

  1. Swete Jeezuz,
    Oui hav r own versin 2.
    U have no ideah how hard ah had 2 work 2 duplikat dem govmint stats. Ah had 2 torture dozins of boys in my ariah. Ah now itz hard 2 bilive, but ALL of them boyz whoz bodiz thay nevr fownd, tol me tha sam thin. That ka, kha, kno, whatever that ragheds fokkin nam waz wuz pard of 9/11.
    Iz true! Juz don ax teh boiz who got awai. theyl lye to u til ah can find em n silinz em cus theyl be lyin!
    B4 ahd silinz dem tho, ahd make em sing like dey nevr sung b4r. 2 mah tuns ahn wurdz! No trurr wurdz wuld ehr be spokn!
    N theyll tell ya the truth then. Komfortble foks can lie wen axed. Foks who git sumptin to luz at the enuv mah knif, gun or ax don lye wen axed. Dey al tel the truff. Wudnt U???
    Ifn u dont agre, ah ken harlee wate to axe you… specahly if ur uh blac or nigger luvur ur 1 a dem towl heds. N thatkase, Oui gotta uh scpeshil ax to ax u with…
    Juss lik ah ahm, nic n sharp… HAHAHAHAHA!

  2. Gulag.. I had to run that post through Babel fish. It gave me a good laugh. Another laugh I had today was reading Cheney’s claim that Obama is using the Justice Dept. for political purposes by having Holder investigate the abuses of detainees.

    It’s incredible how bizarre Cheney is. I’d love to see Cheney get his lumps.

  3. Maha – off topic: the original Hofstadter Harpers essay from 1964 is online here.

    And I expect Liz Cheney will be on Morning Joe tomorrow to give some version of comment #1.

  4. Digby wrote about this some days/weeks ago, when it was revealed that Cheney is writing his memoirs. If you recall, it was revealed that Dick thought Bush had “gone soft” (how I wish he had gone soft in screwing this country), and the memoirs supposedly are a chance for Dick to set things straight (how many sexual innuendos can I fit into one comment? This stuff writes itself, I can’t help it..).

    At any rate, here’s hoping that Dick’s outsized ego and his “fuck’y’all” attitude turns his gestating literary opus into a wide open door into a very sick mind.

  5. They are announcing the death of Ted Kennedy. A great loss at time when his leadership needed.

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