Eyes of the Beholder

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This headline made me laugh — “Why isn’t Rick Santorum the GOP 2016 frontrunner?”

Because he’s a dork, perhaps? Just guessing. But then I saw Brian Beutler call Santorum Conservatives’ Great White Hope — emphasis on the “white” — and I’m thinking, even if you agree with his crazy-ass ideas, he’s a dork. He’s the embodiment of dorkiness. American voters would elect a German shepherd before they’d elect a dork.

Now, I agree with Hunter that Frothy can be amusing as hell. Recently he said that abortion rights advocates cause boys to be uncomfortable showering in a gym. Which was a pretty awesome thing to say, in its way. Hunter reacts —

I … I don’t understand. I’m not sure I want to, mind you, but I’m just trying to parse out how this situation came up and why Rick Santorum was thinking about it. So the premise is that abortion rights advocates are wandering into YMCA showers and lecturing people? Did someone have this experience, where they were randomly accosted in the “mixed company” of a YMCA gym shower by a group of radical abortion rights advocates, and it made them sad and they said, “I know what I must do now. I must go tell Rick Santorum about this.” It’s no seven-foot-tall doctor, but roving public shower lectures on abortion rights certainly sounds like it could be the next big thing.

Seriously, you could do six months’ worth of comedy riffs on this. Still, Santorum is not just a dork, but a creepy dork. And when his Day of Judgment comes he’ll find the Pearly Gates blocked by Saint Margaret Sanger. And then he’ll be reborn as the poor and unwed mother of six disabled children. Mark my words.

19 thoughts on “Eyes of the Beholder”

  1. There are interesting forces at play. I was reading Ed Kilgore at ‘Political Animal’.. he was quoting Erica Seifert of Democracy Corps on a recent poll –

    “—Seniors are now much less likely to identify with the Republican Party. On Election Day in 2010, the Republican Party enjoyed a net 10 point party identification advantage among seniors (29 percent identified as Democrats, 39 percent as Republicans). As of last month, Democrats now had a net 6 point advantage in party identification among seniors (39 percent to 33 percent).”

    Suppose this is a trend… that the base of the GOP is getting tired of the BS. A shutdown of the federal government won’t sweeten the feelings, either. The GOP seems likely to go further out on the crazy limb they occupy – Santorum fits the bill. The party might reject any credible candidate and go full-bore Tea Party with disastrous results. Maybe.

    Seniors and sane conservatives will never love progressives. They may be getting fed up with the absolutism of the GOP- the remorseless contempt for people in need. There’s grounds for a reasonable doubt how they will vote especially if they feel they have options – congressional candidates worth voting for.

  2. I think I finally got an explanation of that Santorum-ism. Apparently, some anti-abortion group was attending some conference, and staying in a church nearby, but the church had no bathing facilities, so they went to the local YMCA for showers. Where, being annoying anti-abortion zealots, they insisted on talking to everyone about their issue, much to the annoyance of local YMCA users who didn’t want a helping of political propaganda while cleaning up after an athletic class. So the Y told the group they could no longer use the showers.

    This, of course, in the mind of the Right, and Santorum, is a clear case of how they are being oppressed by the liberals.

    I’ll leave it to you to figure out the mind-bending that makes that work – just remember that nothing is ever their fault, they are righteous and being oppressed, and it should be easy.

  3. I’ll leave it to you to figure out the mind-bending that makes that work

    biggerbox… Oh, that a simple one. It’s basic Christianity 101. When you’re doing the work of the Devil he doesn’t bother with you because you’re serving him, but when you’re doing the work of Christ, the Devil will attack you with a fury. That’s a basic indicator for your walk with the Lord….If you’re not being oppressed or persecuted than you’re not really a Christian or walking in righteousness.

    • Swami — I had the same thought. This is just like Christian proselytizers who get in everyone’s face about JEEZus and then scream about oppression when told to back off.

  6. I had the story completely wrong. I was told that it was actually on a recent mission to Finland that the Santorum family saw this group in concert and the whole family had the song stuck in their heads for a week.

    I think you can see how it made Rick uncomfortable.

    http://youtu.be/zTbjLOem2Qg

  7. Claiming to be a persecuted minority makes them feel all fuzzy and warm together. And the added bonus of being publically virtuous lets them feel superior without it being a sin. I know that is all terribly obvious, but I just had to say it. I still have not forgiven Frothy for expropriating one of my preferred comforts in life, the sweater vest. Not flashy, but so pleasantly just right for my comfort level. Now I have a drawerful that I hesitate to wear.

  8. on a recent mission to Finland

    Great, so now I’m picturing Rick proselytizing about Jeezus in a sauna. It’s not always a voluntary mental image.

  9. joan,
    They try not to think of the image of him, alongside other men, beating themselves and one another, on their bare backs, legs, chests, and buttocks, with birch branches, like Medieval Christian sauna flagellants.

    Good luck getting THAT one out of your heads, all! 🙂

  10. Thanks for nothing, goatherd.. So now it’s stuck in my head. At least it has displaced the image of John McCain dancing to Waterloo.

  11. .. and the same people who complain so bitterly about being “forced” to be “political correct” through a hissy fit if you don’t “respect their beliefs”.

  13. Joan, relax, just concentrate on the fact that the mission to Finland, was a fiction used as a shabby ploy to introduce the Finnish version of “YMCA”. Fortunately, the idea of presenting the video as one of a “boy band” of which Santorum was a member seemed obviously over the top.

    I am sorry for any damage I might have caused.

    By the way, there are certain articles of clothing that I can no longer wear because they have become associated with right wingers. Can I still wear wingtips?

  14. goatherd,
    Yes, but not while wearing a seersucker suit – with either a string, or bow, tie.

    UNLESS, you wear them with the suit in the fall or winter – when you’ll get gaggles of Conservatives telling you that you shouldn’t wear that unless it’s spring or summer.

    But then, who want fashion advise from Conservative males, who think sweater-vest’s are symbols of some sort of independence?

    And yeah, after last year, I put my sweater-vests back in the closet – until Icky Sticky Rickey stops wearing them

  15. Way off topic:

    AAARGHHH! I am actually very fond of seersucker. I had several seersucker shirts when I lived in Florida and they were the most comfortable in the misery of a Florida summer. That was twenty years ago. I wouldn’t mind having a seersucker suit at all. I also like white linen suits, but I haven’t had one of those for decades either.

    I don’t have many associations with fashion of any kind. Certain clothing can be pretty unappealing, especially if it looks uncomfortable. I’ve heard the term “rumpsprung” for those who wear excessively tight clothes. It seems appropriate. I notice if someone has a good color sense, but here in the rural south, many of us tend to dress informally, especially if I am mucking out the barn.

    Back in the early ’80’s I was learning to program computers. I had a job, so I had to do my course work in the small hours. The people who populated the computer room after midnight in those days were the early hackers and nerds. They wore very different clothes from my hip friends, white woven canvas belts, polyester, you get the idea. They were curious, intelligent helpful people, who happened to dress funny. I really enjoyed getting to know them.

    Like most Americans, I had to dress for my job. I came to believe that my clients were comforted if I conformed to their idea of a “professional”. At home, I could be more like “The Big Lebowski” or whatever. But, my employers weren’t paying me to be myself, they were paying me to do a job and my clients were counting on me in a different way. That’s when i bought the wingtips!

  16. Rick (dog on roof fetishite)Santorum is not the next-GOP-man-up because every one of those clowns was unelectable. Including Romney, as the election showed. But as it sits now, the next crop is only marginally better, and that’s only because the human weight watchers advertisement might step in. Even tho it shouldn’t make a difference I think his Orcaesque girth puts him in that category as well. Which puts them back to having an unelectable choice. Rand Paul or Cruz or Rubio? I’m sure Prez Hillary is licking her chops.

  17. Even if he wasn’t a total dork.. isn’t this the same guy who made some sort of remark that “allowing” gay marriage was a gateway drug to folks wanting to marry their dog? Isn’t this the same guy who used a fake address to send his kids to a certain school?..I could go on with the “isn’t this the same guy” stories but lets just address the first one.

    I think Americans, as a whole have evolved on the topic of gay marriage and most people would be sickened to hear gay marriage being compared to legal married sex with your german shepard … who would take him serious after that? Why isn’t he the front runner?…uh I assume because more than being a dork he is a sicko…and I have feared for his dog for years.

    His comparison will be pretty hard to stomach for every family with a gay family member, to anyone who knows and/ or loves a person who just happens to be gay and to anyone with a functioning brain cell. I believe dork bag brought this little remark to IOWA a few years ago when he was a presidential hopeful and delivered it at the state fair. There are those here who do not agree with gay marriage, but the state has evolved because when he delivered the remark the crowd really didn’t respond. He was like the one fool who still screamed the “n” word would have been received 20 years ago. Even the people who may have agreed looked uncomfortable at the idiot who didn’t know better than to say such a thing in public….Yeah, more like the great white hype.

  18. Frothy’s wife used to date her obstetrician. I mean the one who SPANKED her little bottom. Ewww.

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