I know you’re all waiting for my Oscar commentary. I really did stay up and watch the show, even though I didn’t much care who won what this year. My observations:

Nobody else is saying this, so I’m saying it. J-Lo’s dress was ugly. It was an ugly color — reminded me of overripe avocado. Back in the 1960s they used to make appliances that color, and it was ugly then, too. And the way the fabric draped made her hips look bigger. Also, she needs to find a happy medium between Big Hair and Old Schoolteacher Bun.

Blondes should not wear nude-color gowns. They end up looking sort of monotone. Naomi Watts’s dress was an especially bad choice for that reason. It might be a pretty dress but the cameras weren’t picking up detail, and the effect was, unfortunately, unfortunate. She looked better in King Kong.

Charlize Theron’s dress was odd, but she overcame the handicap with sheer force of beautiousness.

I didn’t have a favorite gown this year, but other than the above-mentioned J-Lo and Watts, nobody I saw was a real disaster, either.

Also: Everybody in Hollywood should take personality lessons from George Clooney.

I thought Jon Stewart was fine. Andy Dehnart is right — the audience didn’t “get” him.

Well, that’s about it.

15 thoughts on “Avocado?

  1. Stewart is funnier on his own show, probably because his audience does get him. He seemed a little out of his league at the Awards. From this male perspective the ladies’ beauty far outshined any unusual attire.

  2. Finally, maha, a topic that matters!

    Kidding, of course. Though in the late 80s and early 90s, I used to gather with friends to watch. I ran the office Oscar Pool, and most years I’d’ve seen not only all 5 Best Picture nominees, but also all the acting and directing nominees. This year, the only nominated movie I’ve seen so far is “War of the Worlds.” (I honestly can’t explain that one.)

    Jon Stewart made me laugh quite a bit, actually. And I’m so, so glad Philip Seymour Hoffman won. He’s been amazing every time I’ve seen him. I loved how he thanked his mother, who “raised four kids alone.”

  3. I loved “Good Night and Good Luck.” I haven’t seen any of the other Best Picture nominees, though.

  4. Good Night and Good Luck was the only one of the nominees I had seen; and, I loved it, too. I was sorry it didn’t win something. On the women’s clothes, I was struck by the fact that perhaps some of these young women have finally learned that you can be beautiful fully clothed and not exposing every part of your body except boobs and gentalia. I think J Lo should get credit for covering herself more than normal; but, you are right about the color. I had planned to see both Crash and The Constant Gardner; but, they came and went so fast, there was little chance to do so. Maybe they will get another chance to play here after winning awards. I personally liked Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg as hosts–although I think many people (probably conservatives) don’t get them either. Still, I thought Stewart was funny. He also handled when a joke died well, which is a good talent for a comedian.

  5. March 6, 2006 Avocado? Filed under: entertainment and popular culture — maha @ 5:35 pm

    What I’m saying is J-Lo herself looked rather pedestrian, in her face and make-up. She’s very average looking. She’s overrated.

    I love Blondes and I like when they wear nude-color gowns.
    Naomi Watts was a dream. Charlize Theron looked bad as you could see her dark hair roots. I was embarrased when Jon Stewart (born on my birthday and same year ) said “I’m a loser.” He was in over his head but who at 43 years old, first time up, wouldn’t be. I never even heard of, let alone saw Crashed! Hoffman was delicious with his Mom reference. Made me cry! Best supporting actress in Constant Gardener was good, based on the clip. Thats all I saw of any movie, the clip. I thought Reese Witherspoon was fantastic “on the stump” though. She’s earned my respect. She matters. I was also rooting for Dame Judy D’Ench. And like Mike Malloy at Air America Radio, I believe its wrong to compare movie to movie. Its like comparing apples to oranges. The black rap group was an embarrassment to black intellects everywhere. They danced around like monkey clowns. Very inappropriate and very sad. Clooney is underrated.

    Frankh99 in Miami contributed to this report.

  6. Yeah they didn’t seem to get Stewart’s wit. What would one expect from a bunch of people that make a very good living pretending to be someone else? I have a few friends that act in local theater and not one of them has a well developed sense of humor. I only sat through the show because of Stewart. I’ve only watched in the past because of Letterman, and Rock. I mean can anything be more insincere than a bunch of self important actors giving “heart felt” acceptance speeches? O.K. maybe a political convention. I did think Hoffman’s remarks were pretty nice; my mom raised 4 kids by herself as well.

  7. The jewel-tone gowns were a hit with me, as were the basic blacks. Jennifer Aniston looked lovely.

    I, too, felt that the audience did not “get” Jon Stewart but he was hysterical nonetheless. The “PSA’s” were MOST excellent, especially the one supporting Reese Witherspoon as a good, All-American name!

    The righties in my chat room were, of course, falling all over themselves today over the fact that Brokeback Mountain won something and when I mentioned that Larry McMurtry was one of the best contemporary American writers I was awash in hate-filled comments. I wonder how many of them sat through “Lonesome Dove”?

    I hate to think of what the atmosphere would have been had Brokeback Mountain won Best Picture…

  8. Well, some of Stewart’s stuff didn’t cut it, although overall he did a very good job (much better than Letterman, Rock, Whoopi or anyone lately but Crystal — and I liked those folks, even Letterman, who I think got more of a bum rap than he deserved. You hire Roseanne to sing the National Anthem, you know what you’re getting, ya know?). The biggest problem for anyone is that Billy Crystal did such a terrific job every time he hosted that it’s just really hard to get close. Stewart was more in the realm of Carson, which is very good indeed, not quite as good yet as Carson was but close. The problem there is that Billy Crystal took it up a notch from where the show was when Hope and Carson hosted. All in all though, a good job from Stewart.

    I was ambivelant about the montages, but hope they did the job of trying to remind people that they like Hollywood and its movies — they keep hearing so often from pundits that they don’t like Hollywood and Hollywood doesn’t like to make movies you like that a lot of people might have forgotten that this is a lie. The montages hopefully did dispell that, but I thought Clooney’s remarks when he accepted his Oscar did better at that. Maybe the two together helped.

    I was surprised and pleased to see the song from Hustle and Flow get the Oscar. I really didn’t think they’d go for a song that had any controversy attached, or at least no controversy that couldn’t be dispelled by having Dolly Parton be attached to the song as well. But the song from Hustle and Flow not only was a more interesting (ie. less boring) song than the others, but it’s an integral part of the movie, not an add-on. In this way it’s like “Beautiful Maria…” from Mambo Kings.

  9. The jewel-tone gowns were a hit with me, as were the basic blacks. Jennifer Aniston looked lovely.

    It occurred to me that J-Lo and Watts should have traded gowns. Watts’s pale gown would have looked better with J’s tan. Watts would have looked better with color, even that icky green.

    Being fair myself I never wear all ivory or beige. Makes me look like a walking paper bag. I noticed Nicole Kidman in an off-white gown and she looked washed out. Fair people really need color.

  10. My wife said J-Lo’s gown looked like her navel had sucked in a wad of fabric.

    That really got me to thinking, yes, it did.

  11. As for Best Song, I’m still bitter that “So Long And Thanks For All the Fish” wasn’t nominated, from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

  12. I liked Catherine Keener’s dress. And maybe Jessica Alba’s, though she looked like a child playing dress-up. Most seemed to play it pretty safe though, eh? Jennifer Lopez overdid the makeup and hair, for sure. Oh and Naomi Watt’s dress was nice too.

    It may have been the lights, or maybe just the booze, but alot of the makeup was looking pale & heavy. It almost looked like a synchronized swimming event. Whatever. The carpet shots looked better than the podium stuff. I don’t even tuck in my shirts.

  13. frankh99 in Miami

    You are correct – she is nothing special. She has had good PR people.

    I don’t know why she was even a presenter!

    maha is correct – the color didn’t look good on her. I thought that it looked putrid. I got sick of the morning show saying that it was a great color on her.

    Guacamole looks better in avocado because it has some red in it!

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