Here’s what the judge did to poor GZ:

Bail for George Zimmerman, charged with felony aggravated assault and two misdemeanors on allegations that he pointed a shotgun at his girlfriend in Florida, was set Tuesday afternoon at $9,000 during Zimmerman’s first court appearance.

A Seminole County judge put conditions on Zimmerman’s bail: That he cannot return to two Florida addresses; he cannot have contact with the accuser; he cannot possess weapons; he must wear a monitoring device; and he cannot travel outside Florida.

The judge initially said Zimmerman could return to one of the banned addresses with law enforcement to retrieve his belongings, but later — at the urging of the prosecutor — reversed that allowance, saying a third party could get the belongings instead.

Also, too:

Bail would normally be around $5,000 on the charges against Zimmerman, but the judge said he was increasing it to $9,000 after the state’s attorney informed the court that Scheibe had disclosed an alleged incident a week and a half ago in which Zimmerman purportedly tried to choke her. The girlfriend decided not to report it to police, the state’s attorney said.

See also Joan Walsh:

I would hate to be a former Zimmerman juror today. I’d also hate to be Sean Hannity, but that’s true every day.

Nice.

Pathetic waste of human protoplasm George Zimmerman was arrested again yesterday, and right now he’s sitting in a Seminole County jail cell. This afternoon a judge will decide if he can be released on bail.

Of course, right now it’s a he said, she said story, but the elements of the story that seem fairly indisputable are that Zimmerman shoved his girlfriend out of her home, barricaded the door, and smashed up a bunch of her furniture. He then called 911 and whined to the operator that nobody understands him.

She said he pointed a gun at her, he says he didn’t. He says that she asked him to leave, and that he was perfectly happy to do so, but then she went crazy and began smashing her own furniture and stealing his stuff, so he was forced to shove her out of her home and barricade the door. He denies he pulled out his shotgun at any time.

She says she asked him to leave, and that he lost his temper and began breaking furniture. She says he pointed a shotgun on her. She says he broke a glass coffee table with the butt of the shotgun.

He said she asked him to leave because she is pregnant and wants to raise the child alone. She says she isn’t pregnant.

GZ’s 911 call is an exercise in dissembling. Highlights: When the operator understood that police had already been called and were outside wanting to talk to him, she asked (with a hint of irritation in her voice) why he had called 911 if the police already were there. He complained to the operator that he called because he wanted people to know the truth, but then he didn’t want to talk to the police who were already there because “I don’t have anything to say.”

Even better: The geniuses commenting at the racist hate site Weasel Zippers have decided that this arrest is a ruse to distract people from Obamacare. For example:

This has A$$older’s and the Department of Just Us’ fingerprints all over it. Seeing as Obama is getting pummled in the media and Dem’s are running away from ObastardCare, time for a little distraction away from the truth. Presto Chang-o, let’s trump up some race based charges against a white guy.

” Monday and when they responded to the home three minutes later,”…really? Tell me how often the police show up in three minutes? Sounds like they were waiting for the call…

So, apparently, Zimmerman’s GF was paid by the Obama administration to file false charges against poor old GZ. No doubt she threw herself out of her home and barricaded the door behind her using magic power. No, wait, the furniture used to barricade the door was rigged to pile up against the door using some remote control device provided by Eric Holder. That’s it.