Send the Asian Markets a Hallmark Card

… because John Boehner appears to be failing to come up with anything that will “steady” them, and they’re going to begin opening in an hour or two as I keyboard this.

The stock market may be a bit bumpy tomorrow, although maybe if we send the Asian Markets a pretty card, they will feel better. Sorry we’re such losers, Asian Markets! Have a nice day!

Update:

This is soothing — watch this and pretend the toy mouse is Eric Cantor.

9 thoughts on “Send the Asian Markets a Hallmark Card

  1. How ironic – the stock markets in the ‘Land of the Rising Sun’ later today hold the first clue about the immediate future of this dying empire.

    John Boner, do you know what you can do to steady them?
    Sign a simple declarrative sentence that says ‘We, The United States of America, will raise the debt ceiling immediately. Thank you.’

    But NO!!!
    You and your moronic caucus want to stare directly into the Sun, denying you’ll go blind.
    And then, later on, you MFers will want us citizens to pay and take guide dogs away from blind people and give them free of charge as a perk to members of Congress.

    No enough bad sh*t can happen to these imbeciles.
    And not enough bad sh*t will.

  2. As someone who lives in Asia, I’m expecting this to be an interesting day. Stock market is not yet open in my time zone (+8, which includes China). Japan and Korea (+9) open first. I’m trying to decide if I should watch as it unfolds, or just ignore this until the end of the day. For those who’d like to watch the slow-motion train wreck, you can start here:

    http://e.nikkei.com/e/app/fr/market/nikkeiindex.aspx

    The commodity markets open early, and I see that gold and silver – traditional safe-haven when people lose faith in paper currency – have now hit a record high. I am guessing that many hedge funds have already taken a position in precious metals, expecting to make a killing. However, there have been well-founded rumors that for years much of the “paper gold” (which is what you trade in the commodity markets such as COMEX) is phony – gold’s equivalent of credit-default swaps, collateralized debt obligations, mortgaged-backed securities, and other instruments of financial fraud collectively known as “derivatives.” I do not have a hard time believing that.

    Much as we like to laugh at the wingnuts (deservedly so) for their numerous wacky ideas, those who have been stockpiling physical gold and silver (plus guns and ammo) may not be so crazy, given the situation. On the other hand, those who listened to Glenn Beck and bought from Goldline were invariably cheated, as this company is known to charge nearly double the world market price.

    Fools Gold: Inside the Glenn Beck Goldline Scheme
    http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2010/07/glenn-beck-goldline/

    Of course, when you’ve got a mountain of credit-card debt, are underwater in your mortgage, and unemployed, gold is a luxury you can’t afford. And needless to say, you can’t eat gold. A better investment might be a remote mountain cave stocked with canned goods.

    It has occurred to me that if the world economy collapses, those who will be least affected are residents of the poorest countries. If you’re living in a grass hut on a remote Pacific island or the Amazon rainforest, you might not even notice as the world’s banking system implodes. All you need to worry about is whether or not the fishing is good. We might all end up envying the villagers of Fiji, Vanuatu or Madagascar.

  3. Dear Asian Markets, don’t worry. The GOP is just playing an elaborate prank. As Asians, you may not be aware of the tradition of April Fools Day, which, in the US, we celebrate on April 1st, except in years where the digits add up to three and the last two digits are the same, when some Americans celebrate it every day EXCEPT April 1st.

    Don’t panic, or the GOP will know they have ‘fooled’ you, and everyone will laugh and point when they reveal the joke, and you will be humiliated.

    Don’t worry, the next year this holiday falls off April 1st won’t be until 2100.

  4. Candide,

    I already envy the villagers of Fiji (been there) and Vanuatu (wish I could go there).

  5. I cannot believe that leaders in the United States of America are THIS STUPID!!!
    It is stunning as to how stupid. As I have said, these guys are TRAITORS. They are committing treason. They need to take those stupid flag pins off. Or the next resolution in congress should be that any one who votes to tank the US economy ON PURPOSE must never wear a flag pin again. They should be docked their pay. I think I need a shower to wash off all scum that has come my way while these spoiled little brats reign.

  6. Speaking of hallmark cards… When I went into basic training I found a great card at the Post Exchange. I purchased it and sent it to my then girlfriend even though the message wasn’t exactly what I wanted to convey..It was just to good to pass up..It showed the traditional minuteman standing beside his plow on the outside with the words, While I’m busy defending my Country’s Honor. And on the inside it said..I hope you’re busy defending yours. I never did find out if she saw the humor in it.

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