It’s Flat-Ass Cold in Oregon

The Guardian reports that the feds plan to cut the power supply to the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

A federal government official told the Guardian that authorities were planning on Monday to cut the power at the refuge.

“It’s in the middle of nowhere,” said the official, who is based in Washington, DC, and has knowledge of the planned response to the militia. “And it’s flat-ass cold up there.”

As we all know, flat-ass cold is much worse than mere damn cold. I bet at night it gets down to freeze yer pecker off cold.

“After they shut off the power, they’ll kill the phone service,” the government official added. “Then they’ll block all the roads so that all those guys have a long, lonely winter to think about what they’ve done.”

According to many reports, the food they have on hand consists of …

… a cardboard box of apples and oranges, a few dozen pots of instant ramen, 24 cans of chicken noodle soup, a similar number of cans of sweetcorn, peas, beans and chili, and 20 boxes of macaroni and cheese.

There were also three sacks of potatoes, one bag of flour, another of rolled oats, boxes of raisins, a single bag of pretzels and one granola bar.

This is not exactly the kind of high-calorie, high-fat food a bunch of men would need to keep their energy up in flat-ass cold temperatures. It’s basically kids’ food. I’m not sure what they plan to do with the flour, without shortening or baking powder or anything one might need to make anything to eat out of the flour. Perhaps they should have asked their wives or mothers what to pack.

31 thoughts on “It’s Flat-Ass Cold in Oregon

  1. “a cardboard box of apples and oranges, a few dozen pots of instant ramen, 24 cans of chicken noodle soup, a similar number of cans of sweetcorn, peas, beans and chili, and 20 boxes of macaroni and cheese”

    Hey that sounds like my cupboard when I was a starving engineering student in college, fuckin hippies!

  2. This looks like an “adult” “Little Rascals” short, on left-over “brown-acid!”

    It this week’s episode, Spanky and his gang bring toy guns up to their “He Manz Obummerz Gubmint & Womenz Haterz KKKlub” treehouse, all set to stay up there for as long as it takes, until their parents let them do whatever they want.
    Note: Everyone’s allowed to bring a toy gun, except Buckwheat. Even the kids know, that if a black kid has anything looking like a gun, the police will shoot him first, and ask questions later.
    Buckwheat doesn’t like this. But, he’s not stupid, and goes along, unarmed.

    And they find that in all of the boy’s eagerness to run away and hole up, they forgot to bring food and water with them, like they were told.

    At first, Alfalfa tries to keep them amused by singing, but soon, he’s hungry and starts whining. He says he wants to leave.
    Buckwheat says, “Me too.”
    Spanky tries to keep the gang together, but they’re too hungry, thirsty, and tired to listen to him, and start throwing what little food they have, at one another.

    And the bickering continues, and gets worse, until they all fall out of their treehouse, and go home, licking their wounds.
    And their parents, after laughing at them, threaten to call Social Services, to say that they’ve had enough of these misbehaving child-clown’s, and can’t they lock them a way some place for a while until they learn to behave?

    After much crying, the whole gang tells their folks that they’ll behave, and not to send them away.

    A few parents do anyway.
    And good for them!
    This wasn’t the first time these snot-nosed kids pulled something like this!

  3. What is the matter with the quartermaster? He should be court martialed for gross dereliction of duty. I assume they do have a quartermaster, being an army and all.

  4. Maybe the government should start rounding up Cliven Bundy’s cattle so the Bundy boys would have to split their forces or call up reserve units to protect their southern flank.

  5. Hmmm. No source of vitamin C once the oranges run out. How long does it take for scurvy to develop?

  6. No Jerky ? WTF ?These ain’t no REAL AMERICAN cowpokes ! This reminds me of my right wing friend’s statement about the black folks all packed together in the Superdome after Katrina ” I would have brought some peanut butter and crackers.” He said. Jesus lawd a mercy. That would have lasted me about 10 minutes……

  7. There’s an incredible lack of planning – purpose – focus – messaging. Why are they there and what do they want? The ‘victims’ of government oppression plan to turn themselves in fo the rest of their sentence (for arson). The Bundy’s have no dog in the fight – it’s not their cattle this time and it’s not their land. The local conservatives have not joined up.

    If anyone wanted a textbook example of how NOT to organize a protest/movement/revolution – this has to concentrate all the mistakes in one shining example.

  8. I read an article yesterday that said the occupiers were trudging down to a convenience store in the area to buy sandwiches and drinks. So much for the state of siege approach. I guess I’ll have to read Sun Tzu to have a grasp of this strategy.

    It is remarkable to witness the restraint that is being exercised in this situation as contrasted with the savagery of the response in instances like the case of Tamir Rice. I’d say it was galling, except that I think this sort of restraint should be the norm and not the exception. But, if they’re not going to kick ass, they should be taking names.

    In the long run, maybe letting them make fools of themselves is the best approach. Young people are far less likely to espouse a religious belief, and they seem relatively disenchanted with Christianity. We can thank guys like Franklin Graham, Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum for that. They have become the salient face of Christianity, and that face is ridiculous and repugnant. The battle of the bird sanctuary is doing something similar, it is presenting the occupiers as mere buffoons with guns. That has limited appeal. That is not to say that the commission of a felony while armed is not a serious matter, which should carry jail time and the loss of the right to own guns.

  9. “textbook example of how NOT to organize a protest/movement/revolution”

    Actually Doug I think they are succeeding in one way that maybe they did not intend, they are showing that this administration is afraid of white men with guns, they are making a mockery out of the FBI and the BLM. I’m not sure that was their intention but to me that is what they have achieved. It was reported yesterday that they are free to go into town and resupply, they can come and go as they please, they went for dinner last night at a local restaurant, no arrest, no nothing? When you landed your gyro-copter on the capitol lawn you should have had an AK, apparently they would have let you walk?

  10. uncledad – There are hundreds of paramilitary groups with fantasies of a glorious revolution. If the administration gives them a few martyrs they can spin into a ‘massacre’ narrative, then we have an insurrection.

    Historically, had the Mexican army ignored the outpost called the ‘Alamo’ – Texas would still be part of Mexico. That the administration treats these groups as unworthy of attention is the greatest defeat that they can impose. Battles, trials and media attention is what they want.

    As long as these groups can’t do anything more spectacular than occupy a birdfarm in Bumflock, turn off the power, turn off the phone – and ignore them.

  11. As long as these groups can’t do anything more spectacular than occupy a birdfarm in Bumflock, turn off the power, turn off the phone – and ignore them.

    We’ll see I would argue that giving them a pass will only embolden more “spectacular” sieges in the future, they want a confrontation so they will keep trying. We let them off the hook when these same miscreants pulled this stunt in 2014. At some point the laws need to be enforced. I would like to see at a minimum a perimeter around these folks, nobody in or out including the media!

  12. uncledad,
    I’m with Doug on this one.

    The “tyrannical” government they loathe, and are protesting, is so tyrannical, it’s ignoring them lIke they’re needy, mis-behaving, and petulant children!

    It’s even letting these loser’s and bozo’s go to town to shop, lIke they’re campers.

    Believe me, nothing could embarrass a bunch of asses itching for a fight, and ready to be martyrs, more than treating them like this: children.

    My biggest worry, is that out of sheer embarrassment, a few of these loons won’t want to face humiliation and will charge the Fed people, hoping for “suicide-by-BLM-agent!”

    Let them sit, stew, and sulk about the lack of action and attention, before they they’re tired and humiliated enough to slink on home.

  13. At this point I have to agree with Uncledad. These idiots got away with what they did on the Bundy ranch, now they’re at it again. Sure, turn off the power and phone or whatever but don’t let them get away with occupying a place they don’t belong. The locals don’t want them. Wouldn’t it be ironic if the laws were investigated back 100 yrs. or more and it was found the land does belong to the Paiute Tribe as they as claiming? I’m rooting for the Indians.
    As for Texas, is it too late to give it back to Mexico?

  14. “As for Texas, is it too late to give it back to Mexico”

    Yeah, do you think Mexico would allow a Canadian Citizen to be their President! Thanks for your endorsement Granny its good to have allies!!!!

  15. One of the consequences of engaging the material world is that nothing is ever as clear and simple as we would like it to be, speaking for myself, anyway.

    If we were dealing with an individual,, or a monolithic group of people, the best strategy would be a lot easier to determine. The Bundyites represent only a segment of the “Second Amendment community,” to use a politically correct term. We can make some pretty good guesses at why they showed up at the bird sanctuary, but, even among people in this group, there is probably a range of reasons and a range of “commitment.” So, regardless of how they are confronted, the individuals will react in different ways. Some will be emboldened to try something bigger, and others will decide to sit the next one out and tell the story to their grandchildren. To make it more complicated, we have to consider how the confrontation will affect the entire anti-government/pro gun crowd. If the response angers them sufficiently, they will want to recruit others and bump up the volume next time. If they come away feeling foolish and feckless, they’d probably just like to pretend that it didn’t happen. It’s a game of probabilities and percentage, and it involves a lot of people who aren’t even there. We want their numbers to dwindle, not their ranks to swell.

    I wish I could believe that as the occupiers come and go, they are being identified and their background is being investigated to determine what sort of risk they present. I think this illustrates why sometimes, the Feds need to step in. Local law enforcement doesn’t appear to be up to the job or the sheriff is too worried about re-election. I have to admit, as UncleDad wrote, “I would like to see at a minimum a perimeter around these folks, nobody in or out including the media!” The experience has to be cold, exhausting and worthless, and there have to be consequences.

  16. The Bundy Bunch thinks that the Constitution does not authorize the federal government to own land, and land purchase is not one of the enumerated powers in that document. This makes the Louisiana Purchase illegal, and that means that this militia group is standing on soil which ought to go back to France, which means that they are stuck with socialized medicine and all the other trappings of liberalism which will ensue from righting a two centuries old wrong.

  17. They need to be crushed mercilessly.When they decided to bring guns into the equation they set the stakes…I have to slip out of my bleeding heart liberal mode and into my conservative mode of zero tolerance.. They are committing treason. They’ve created an armed rebellion against the United States whether they fire their guns or not..They have to be held accountable for their actions. Embarrassment and public humiliation is not a sufficient penalty.
    This militia nonsense is only going to get worse if it’s not nipped in the bud. To quote Bob Marley in I shot the sheriff….” kill it before it grows”

  18. “The experience has to be cold, exhausting and worthless, and there have to be consequences”

    Right, that was the whole point of maha’s post but that has not happened. These guys are camping out there having a good old time, coming and going as they please, posting videos to twitter, hell the local sheriff met with the “leader” and shook his hand, that fucking pisses me off. These guys are criminals, I know its fun to make a joke out of the whole thing but it is no joke to them or thousands of these freedumb fantasizers all over the country. If these numskulls actually had fully functioning brains the mockery that is being made of them might discourage future acts but you have to remember these fucking idiots are living in a fantasy land where as long as they have their AK they can take on the world, ignoring them aint gonna work. Besides unless Rush, Drudge, FAUX etc. make fun of them they will never hear any of it, theses idiots don’t watch msnbc or read the New York times!

  19. Somebody (I wish me) dubbed the militia in Oregon as “Y’all Qaida” – I think that members of at least two other groups have tried to step into the spotlight. In one case there was fistfighting – there’s a great pic of some slob with a bloody nose. Left to their own egotistical devices the three-stooges personalities of these vainglorious clowns who want these confrontations with the federal government is on full display.

    I understand the people who are frustrated that these morons aren’t being held accountable. And that’s true – however they want to be martyrs at the hands of the evil tyranny – which is the view which must become the popular perception for their revolution to succeed.

    For the revolution to fail, they have to be allowed to publicly squabble like chickens and be ridiculed for fools and starved or frozen into an ignominious collapse without the dignity of a defeat. This lacks the consistency of even-handed application of justice – it’s the unequal application of policy over law but it’s the smart way to defeat an enemy of democracy.

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