VanillaISIS? YeeHawd?

I’m not going to call the meatheads occupying buildings in the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge “terrorists” because I don’t think they rise to the level of competence to actually terrorize anybody. They’re more like play-pretend insurgents.

According to Jennifer Williams at Vox, most of the “militia” men are  “a small group of individuals who travel around the country attaching themselves to various local fights against the federal government, usually over land rights.” They seized some buildings in the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge ostensibly to offer shelter to Dwight and Steven Hammond, a couple of local ranchers who were convicted of setting fires on federal land.  The feds say the Hammonds started one fire to cover up evidence of illegal deer poaching, although as the fires destroyed all the evidence of poaching I don’t know how the feds would know that. Oh, the feds got it from a witness, it says here.

Anyway, long story short, the Hammonds are turning themselves in after being resentenced to more prison time. They turned down the offer of a refuge from the law.

There may be a legitimate argument that the re-sentencing wasn’t fair, but the “militia” is not making that argument. Instead, they are arguing that federal land ought to be turned over to the states, which in turn ought to let the righteous white men of the West do whatever they want with it, sandhill crane habitat or no sandhill crane habitat. This has something to do with the U.S. Constitution, which they say is an “inspired document by Our Lord Jesus Christ.” However, I’m not aware of any part of the Constitution that deprives the federal government from retaining federal reservations within state boundaries. I believe in the case of national parks and wildlife reserves, states agreed to let the feds run the land and were compensated for it.

And if you want to be really picky about it, the Paiutes have a stronger claim to the land in questions than the state or the ranchers.

The question is, what’s to be done about this situation? Apparently the feds are being cautious, wanting to avoid another Waco. But letting the meatheads get away with these little tantrums seems to encourage them. I’d vote for a blockade; once they’re out of beer and beef jerky they may become more pliable.

28 thoughts on “VanillaISIS? YeeHawd?

  1. I saw a photo of one of the nutjobs involved in the standoff. He was wearing camos with a conventional placement of unit patches and name tags. Over the right pocket where normally the branch of service would be displayed (e.g: U.S Army,U.S.Navy, U.S. Air Force, U.S. Marines) his embroidered branch designation tag was “Praetorian Guard”
    I mean really! Grow the fuck up. How engrossed in a childish fantasy can somebody be to feel comfortable walking around with a Praetorian Guard label sewn on their chest?

    • The real Praetorian Guard were not exactly a noble and honorable crew. I wonder if the yeehawdist knows anything about them he didn’t pick up from a video game.

  2. How apropriate:

    A bunch of loons picked a bird sanctuary in which to spend the winter!

    Let me understand this correctly – this treasonous gang of insurrectionist “MORANS!”, insists they’re ready to stay there all through the winter, possibly for years, to make some idiotic point or other, and, two days into their siege, they’re already out of food, and begging supporters to send them some snacks?

    May I (dis)respectfully suggest we all chip in a few cents, and send them a small box of CRACKER Jack?

    Can you imagine Davy Crockett, holed-up in the Alamo, asking supporters for snacks?
    How inept can a gang of insurrectionist “patriot”-wannabe’s get?

    This sets a new low.
    But, don’t worry. There are plenty more loons like these epic “MORANS!” out there, near where the buffalo once roamed, and the deer and the antelope played.

    And that uproarious laughter you hear at night out in the wilds of OR, is the Bureau of Land Management agents being joined in by hyena’s – who think these armed loopy-loons are the funniest thing they’ve every seen!
    And hoping that no one sends any food or water to these fools any time soon. Hey, a bunch of dead, scrawny “patriots” could feed a whole slew of hyena’s – as long as they’re not too particular about the intelligence of what they eat.


    Here’s that picture I was talking about..Upon closer examination it seems the NYT slipped in a picture of the first standoff at the Bundy ranch among pictures of the current Oregon standoff. I guess it really doesn’t matter because the nutjobs supporting the standoff probably haven’t changed.

    A bunch of loons picked a bird sanctuary in which to spend the winter!
    Good one, Gulag… 🙂

  4. Don’t these morans have jobs to go to? Or are they independently wealthy and don’t need to work? Maybe their wives work? Inquiring minds want to know.

  5. Don’t these morans have jobs to go to?

    Well, the Bundy family formerly made its living off the agricultural equivalent of stealing library books, so maybe this is their living now? A teevee reality show without the money… oops!

  6. I got new one that I thought of this morning while taking a Trump:

    Ali Bubba – and his 40 Federal Land Thieves!


  7. “Don’t these morans have jobs to go to”?

    Isn’t that quote a from Gen. Gage when hearing the news of engagement in the battle of Lexington-Concord?

  8. Ali Bubba…I like that one….I was just thinking, hehehe, it’s what I do…that in light of their cause for Snacks…I would tell them to “Molon Labe”…..

  9. “Praetorian Guard ”

    I see he’s wearing captain bars, I wonder does west point graduate officers for the Praetorian Guard. When I was in the Army one could get themselves in serious trouble for impersonating an officer, my guess is that little man never served a day in the military? I suppose waiting them out is OK as long as every last one of these miscreants are round up and arrested for felony weapons and trespassing charges. When these same fu#ksticks pulled a similar stunt at the “Bundy Ranch” there were no charges no repercussions at all, that can’t happen again. I say bust out the Drones!

  10. my guess is that little man never served a day in the military?
    That’s my guess also. I suppose if you get to pick your own rank Captain bars are cool.If it were me I’d pick being a full bird Colonel..Sorta like Colonel Angus.

  11. Well, the least we can do is charge them for rent and the hours required to keep them under total siege until they decide to surrender themselves to the local sheriff (the only law they recognize) who will then hand them over to the Feds (because sanctuary is bad).

    That’s what happens when white folks go on the dole…

  12. At least with Cracker Jack they will get a prize. I’m not sure where these yahoos come from but living in Washington which is next door to Oregon, I know one does not want to mess with the Oregonians. They don’t like trespassers. I know the coast (around Portland) is known for being liberal and progressive but Eastern Oregon is another story. Anytime one gets away from urban places and into rural areas, the attitude is different, it’s more conservative. Don’t know if that is good or bad for these interlopers, just making a point.

  13. Why are you for the tactic of occupation when it is done by left wing Occupiers but not in this case?

    • //Why are you for the tactic of occupation when it is done by left wing Occupiers but not in this case?//

      If you had been here at the time, you would have known I was critical of OWS, also. In both cases, the actual cause — other than a general dissatisfaction for the way things are — was not clearly thought out, and the tactics were counterproductive. In the case of the guys in Oregon, their arguments about federal land use are just self-serving nonsense. And it’s too obvious they are living out some pathetic fantasy about being trail-blazing revolutionaries, when they’re mostly just pathetic.

  14. “I’d pick being a full bird Colonel”

    Definitely way cooler than stars or bars! I had a run-in with a full bird, our Battalion Commander, he busted me for smoking a cigarette while on guard duty, he didn’t write me up just gave me a good “talking to”, I never told him it was a joint!

  15. All of this is “way above my pay grade.” But, I bet some very interesting psychological research could be done on this group. There was a remarkable contrast in the way that Jon Ritzheimer appeared in the two videos at Vox. I know he was being a drama queen in the video made in his car, although, it was just too gawdawful to watch all the way through. But, he definitely seems in a lot of psychological pain, that’s the scary part, of course, when you consider that he is in the company of like minded armed people. In the other video where he is waving the walkie talkie around, he seems to be in his element, although his element in turn, reminds me of the “secret clubs” my grade school friends and I had. But, by the time we hit the third grade, we had outgrown them.

    The only way I can make sense out of this is that they are extremely vulnerable to the stress and fear brought on by mind altering disinformation and other methods of manipulation. The unstable guy in the car morphs into Sergeant Rock, because that’s the only way he can get free of his extreme anxiety. But, he’s just stepping into a role where he plays somebody else, who’s not afraid. Underneath the paint job he’s an emotional wreck with an assault rifle. Okay, it’s a dodgy theory.

    What Maha wrote about the Praetorian guard brought up a good point. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did learn about it from a video game or a cheap action movie, although I wouldn’t rule out some very selective reading of some idiosyncratic versions of “history.” In short I think this is LARP that got way out of hand.

    I agree that there should be punitive repercussions resulting from this, but maybe laying siege and waiting is the best way out of this. There is no “good” way. These guys seems a half bubble off plumb for sure, and it’s a dangerous situation, but, we don’t want anybody hurt if we can avoid it. I would much prefer to have them as laughing stock than martyrs. If their intention to stay for a few years turns into just a few days they are less likely to inspire a repeat performance.

    On the lighter side, they probably should have occupied a rest stop along on of those long western highways. they have good facilities and ceding machines.

  16. But, he definitely seems in a lot of psychological pain,

    Yeah, that’s the classic true believer. They find their identity in an holy cause. I’m sure he’s praying his faith in his cause doesn’t get tested in the furnace of reality.
    I know the lure of wallowing in intoxicating machismo where young men will stand their ground and won’t back down ( Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers) but as age imparts wisdom I’m a firm believer that the pen is mightier than the sword.
    If Ritzheimer hasn’t come to the realization that he’s not going to succeed in backing down the full power of the United States armed with a measly AR-15 or whatever he’s toting then maybe he needs to present himself, or be presented, to the Lord.. “in glory”.

  17. AAARGGH! Ever since our last update, our spellcheck or autocorrect has a mind of its own. That should be “vending machines,” which was meant to be a little funnier than “ceding machines.”

    There seems to be the potential for things to go horribly wrong. It’s a pretty safe bet that some of these poor souls are not in the most stable mental condition, and I doubt that the “movement” screened them in any way. They’re already living in La-La Land and the stress level must be rising. I don’t agree with what they did, their politics or their concept of reality. For me, those things just bring forth the mental health aspect of this situation. Maybe it’s confirmation bias that underscores my belief that the occupiers represent people who should be kept as far away from guns as possible. Let’s hope no one decides to be a hero.

    If the list of food and supplies is even remotely accurate, it’s not just pathetic, it’s more evidence of their disturbing detachment from reality. Poor judgment and impulse control are a lot more dangerous when there are guns in the mix.

  18. I could be wrong but isn’t it illegal to carry weapons on federal land except in the case of hunting privileges?

  19. Some short observations:
    I’ve read on another fine blog that “annoyist” suits these people better than “terrorist”
    That self-styled Praetorian seems to have a merkin on his chin. Points for original placement.
    I’ve started a gofundme called “Send Oregon Y’all Quaida to Somalia” at if anyone’s interested.

  20. Paul,

    Yeah, they wouldn’t have time to take the lid off a can of Pringles, before the were ground meat.

  21. erinyes,
    Hopefully, when they have to resort to leaves, there’s a good bit of poison ivy in the mix!

    It’s tough to act like tough militia mercenary, when your ass and private parts itch enough to make you crazy.
    Ok, crazier!

  22. In days of old, when Knights were bold…and toilet paper was not invented.. 🙂

    Gulag.. you bring out the juvenile in me.

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