Debbie Schlussel wants to protect you from the threat of crazed jihadists with weapons of mass destruction. Weapons like … cherry bombs?
A night of hurling improvised cherry bombs from a pickup truck ended poorly for one Canton resident on Sunday night.
According to Canton Police, a 23-year-old man sought treatment at Oakwood Healthcare Center on Canton Center Road after a Ping-Pong ball filled with a chemical compound exploded in his hand.
Sgt. Rick Pomorski said the man and two friends learned how to make the devices, which were also made using tennis balls, on the Internet.
Playing with explosives is a very risky behavior,â€ he said. â€œIt only takes one mistake and you could lose life or limb.â€
So don’t play with explosives, children.
The man was lighting wicks on the bombs and throwing them out the passenger side of the truck as it traveled down Lotz Road, between Cherry Hill and Ford roads.
What do you want to bet large quantities of beer were consumed sometime before this incident?
Anyway, the police have the bombs and identified the bombers. It seems the bombers didn’t actually hit anything. But Debbie saw what the police did not. Her version of the episode:
An unnamed 23-year-old man from Canton, Michigan–a Detroit suburb near Dearbornistan with a large Muslim population composed primarily of Pakis, er . . . Pakistanis–should be among this year’s candidates for the Darwin awards.
Nah, I think Debbie’s got that one sewed up.
Since Muslim terrorists are generally more clandestine–and occasionally more clever–than that, looking for the best way to hurt the most infidels and not get caught, the man and his buddies might not be Muslims.
Yeah, whenever I hear about some yahoos throwing home-made cherry bombs out of a pickup truck, the first thing I think of is al Qaeda. I got a tip that some terrorists tried to take out the Brooklyn Bridge with 10 strategically placed M-80s and and several dozen birthday sparklers.
But who knows? We know how the media generally tries to shield the “Religion of Peace,” from any and all crimes–like the Trolley Square terrorist in Utah, the UNC jeep jihadist in Raleigh, NC, the Seattle Jewish Community Center terrorist, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam.
Regardless, I would be remiss in not pointing out the large Muslim Paki, er . . . Pakistani population in Canton. After all, I wouldn’t want to disappoint my friends from the deceptively-named, Nazi-funded Media Matters for America.
“Paki” is considered a racial slur in Britain. And for the record, Media Matters objects to being called “Nazi-funded.”
His neighbors in Canton certainly deserve to know his name for their own personal safety. And I’ll be following this case.
Like this case, we were never told the names of the men in the nearby Arabic neighborhoods of Dearbornistan and Dearbornistan Heights, last year, who were involved in pointing laser pointers at planes at Detroit Metro Airport ….
I hear they’ve got precision bottle rocket teams, too.
So what is this guy’s name and his religion? And that of his friends? Just asking. But how dare I ask.
Years ago, when I was living in Ohio next door to Mean Jean Schmidt, some neighborhood punks blew up my mailbox (on a post, by the road) with a cherry bomb. Somehow, it didn’t occur to me to ask what the punks’ religion was. But if it had occurred to me to ask, would I have dared?
(Thanks to Dependable Renegade for the Brooklyn Bridge tip.)