Debbie Schlussel wants to protect you from the threat of crazed jihadists with weapons of mass destruction. Weapons like … cherry bombs?
A night of hurling improvised cherry bombs from a pickup truck ended poorly for one Canton resident on Sunday night.
According to Canton Police, a 23-year-old man sought treatment at Oakwood Healthcare Center on Canton Center Road after a Ping-Pong ball filled with a chemical compound exploded in his hand.
Sgt. Rick Pomorski said the man and two friends learned how to make the devices, which were also made using tennis balls, on the Internet.
Playing with explosives is a very risky behavior,â€ he said. â€œIt only takes one mistake and you could lose life or limb.â€
So don’t play with explosives, children.
The man was lighting wicks on the bombs and throwing them out the passenger side of the truck as it traveled down Lotz Road, between Cherry Hill and Ford roads.
What do you want to bet large quantities of beer were consumed sometime before this incident?
Anyway, the police have the bombs and identified the bombers. It seems the bombers didn’t actually hit anything. But Debbie saw what the police did not. Her version of the episode:
An unnamed 23-year-old man from Canton, Michigan–a Detroit suburb near Dearbornistan with a large Muslim population composed primarily of Pakis, er . . . Pakistanis–should be among this year’s candidates for the Darwin awards.
Nah, I think Debbie’s got that one sewed up.
Since Muslim terrorists are generally more clandestine–and occasionally more clever–than that, looking for the best way to hurt the most infidels and not get caught, the man and his buddies might not be Muslims.
Yeah, whenever I hear about some yahoos throwing home-made cherry bombs out of a pickup truck, the first thing I think of is al Qaeda. I got a tip that some terrorists tried to take out the Brooklyn Bridge with 10 strategically placed M-80s and and several dozen birthday sparklers.
But who knows? We know how the media generally tries to shield the “Religion of Peace,” from any and all crimes–like the Trolley Square terrorist in Utah, the UNC jeep jihadist in Raleigh, NC, the Seattle Jewish Community Center terrorist, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam.
Regardless, I would be remiss in not pointing out the large Muslim Paki, er . . . Pakistani population in Canton. After all, I wouldn’t want to disappoint my friends from the deceptively-named, Nazi-funded Media Matters for America.
“Paki” is considered a racial slur in Britain. And for the record, Media Matters objects to being called “Nazi-funded.”
His neighbors in Canton certainly deserve to know his name for their own personal safety. And I’ll be following this case.
Like this case, we were never told the names of the men in the nearby Arabic neighborhoods of Dearbornistan and Dearbornistan Heights, last year, who were involved in pointing laser pointers at planes at Detroit Metro Airport ….
I hear they’ve got precision bottle rocket teams, too.
So what is this guy’s name and his religion? And that of his friends? Just asking. But how dare I ask.
Years ago, when I was living in Ohio next door to Mean Jean Schmidt, some neighborhood punks blew up my mailbox (on a post, by the road) with a cherry bomb. Somehow, it didn’t occur to me to ask what the punks’ religion was. But if it had occurred to me to ask, would I have dared?
(Thanks to Dependable Renegade for the Brooklyn Bridge tip.)
Debbie Schlussel, professional busybody, the savior of greater Detroit.
Free speech and the web allow idiots to amaze the rest of us with their fantastical ideas. I hope I never meet Debbie Schlussel.
Population Profile of Canton, MI, form City-Data.com (probably 2000 Census figures):
* White Non-Hispanic (82.3%)
* Black (4.5%)
* Asian Indian (4.5%)
* Hispanic (2.3%)
* Two or more races (1.9%)
* Chinese (1.9%)
* Filipino (0.8%)
* American Indian (0.8%)
* Other race (0.6%)
* Other Asian (0.6%)
* Korean (0.5%)
Can’t find religious affiliation for Canton, but according to the Association of Religion Data Archives, in 2000 there were about 46,500 Muslims in the whole of Wayne County.
So, unless there’s been a major influx of Islamo-fascist jihadi sleeper cells since 2001, I guess Lil Debbie has been dreaming her up some Muslim Pakis.
Debbi is just full of good ideas.
Perhaps it should be required that all Muslims in America wear a big yellow crescent on their foreheads? Oh, wait,something similar was tried in Germany with another religious group based in the ME and it didn’t work very well at all.
If you want to find out who is building and throwing cherry bombs from pick up trucks, one might question the local members of the Squidbilly fan club or the followers of the church of Hazzard county. The Arab Americans around Detroit would rather sell you cigarettes, a devious slow death by poison AlQaida plot……
The Arab Americans debbie so rightly fears have a evil plot to give us all brain freeze from the icee’s served , then while we all have intense head aches they will have us all right where they want us. Don’t let em win! We are on to their plot.They are trying to destroy our country with frozen drinks, luring us in with flavors like wild cherry or grape explosion(see?)…
They will raise our blood sugar and rot our teeth one thirsty American at a time.When will this madness end?And ask yourself, “What religion is this man who serves us icee’s?” Icee’s would be so much safer if they were Kosher.
I for one am going to sleep much better tonight knowing debbie has her eye on things in detroit.Having her as our little watchdog will save us all with sparkler season just right around the corner. However her paranoid ideas blow all kinds of holes in bushs theory of how safe we are here because we are fighting them “there”…why bother to fight them “there” if they are already here terrorizing us with cherry bombs and icee’s? Bring the troops home and let them “liberate” America from the evil that lurks.