Florida Straw Poll Won by … Cain?

If you’re a supporter of the GOP establishment, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that Rick Perry came in second in today’s Florida Straw Poll, nearly tied with Mitt Romney at third place. The bad news is that the runaway winner was Herman Cain.

Cain, former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, was one of just three contenders who showed up to speak at the Saturday convention. He got a particularly enthusiastic reception, disputing the “rumor” that he couldn’t win the election and saying it was time to send “a problem-solver” rather than a politician to the White House. “Send Washington a message!” he said, bringing the crowd to its feet.

Listing crises on everything from the economy to moral values, he said he could “hit the target called fix-it.”

Yes, running a chain of pizza parlors is just like running a country. Just yell, and the employees will scamper around and bring those cheese suppliers to heel.

The straw poll is meaningless except as a test of momentum, I suppose, but the participants paid $175 each to attend a political event in Orlando called Presidency 5, hosted by the Florida GOP. And I assume some of the participants came from out of town. This crew didn’t just wander in off the streets, in other words. Most probably are active in Florida Republican politics.

In a field that might be called Mittens and the Seven Clowns, the base definitely prefers the clowns. Results:

Cain, 37%
Perry 15%
Romney 14%
Santorum, 11%
Paul, 10%
Gingrich, 9%
Huntsman, 2%
Bachmann, 2%

Bachmann’s falling off the map, it seems. Are these clowns going to take turns at front runner? Is T-Paw sorry he dropped out so soon?

Update: Someone with more time and patience than I have please explain to this pathetic boob what the word “racism” means. The concept seems to elude him.

21 thoughts on “Florida Straw Poll Won by … Cain?

    biggerbox, that will get the fundies in a lather. “Is Cain Able? Film at 11…..”
    Inquiring minds want to know, can he throw a pie?
    Maybe he is the “anti” magic negro?
    I can’t figure this one out, maybe they do want some humor in the WH.

  2. Herman Cain is my name and I drove on the Danville train.

    Seems the Florida GOP is experiencing some white guilt. And remember..999 is 666 turned upside down.

  3. Pingback: » Speaking of Racism: Democrats show thier true colors

  4. Although Obama had served in the Senate, he hadn’t really run anything prior to becoming president – had he?

    And if Cain won so resoundingly, it would seem that racism in the Republican party is probably less than some imagine. Isn’t this a good thing – no matter who you support in 2012?

    • Although Obama had served in the Senate, he hadn’t really run anything prior to becoming president – had he?

      That’s a joke, right? My point was that a president is nothing like a CEO. A president can’t just yell and expect his underlings to make everything better. I’ve worked for too many jerks like that. They’re generally incompetent but hyper-aggressive boobs who are only as successful as the people who work for them allow. By themselves, they can maybe tie their shoes and cap the toothpaste tube.

      Come to think of it, we already had a president like that. His name was George W. Bush.

      Also, Senator Obama had a good understanding of how government works. Cain, obviously, does not.

  5. A friend of mine who lives in Omaha and has never voted for a Democrat in her life worked a lot with Cain on volunteer projects in the inner city. She had high praise for him.

    Even if you don’t think he’s the right guy for the presidency, he does not seem to be a jerk or incompetent. Anyway – I thought it was good news for our country that so many Republicans don’t seem to care what the race of their candidate is. Maybe one day their social views will progress, too.

    • A friend of mine who lives in Omaha and has never voted for a Democrat in her life worked a lot with Cain on volunteer projects in the inner city. She had high praise for him.

      That’s wonderful. The fact remains that Cain’s campaign is based on a lie and he has revealed he doesn’t know foreign policy from spinach.

      Look, it’s real cheap and easy to make brave statements about how you’re going to go to Washington and fix everything. I can do that. You could do that. It means nothing. If you obviously don’t have a clue how Washington works and what ongoing policy issues are about, then it’s just talk, and only a fool would be impressed.

  6. For some reason, Cain’s simplistic rhetoric reminds me a little of this guy, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. Cain obviously has a lot more education and polish. And he dresses well. But the rhetoric is similar.

  7. The schmuck who wrote that racism also piece says:

    “I did not leave the Democratic Party —- They left me.”

    Where did we leave you, in an orphanage for the criminally stupid?

    I shouldn’t do speak for all of us, but I don’t think anyone will mind if I say to that clown, “We in the Democratic Party say ‘Good riddance to bad rubbish.'”

  8. Oh, just in case this result isn’t an outlier, I have the Republicans new motto:

    “Yes We Cain!!!”

  9. I understand the significance of a scientific poll – with a question crafted for neutrality and a random sample large enough to provide a real statistic that has a calculated margin of error.

    WTF is a ‘Straw Poll’ where the sample is not that large – not random – and the participants pay (or were paid) to cast a vote?

  10. @Maha:

    You must be SO pleased. They updated that site and referred to YOU. In an appropriate manner, of course. How do you ever live through the shame?

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  12. Wow, I was hesitant to click through, because I don’t like giving such sites the traffic, but that “racist” guy was one funny read. (Apparently, insulting a black man, even while simultaneously applying the same insult to other, white, people, is racist. ) Mitt and the Seven Clowns – maha, how could you?!

  13. Cain won the straw poll because he was giving away coupons for 2 medium pizzas for the price of one (that’s with any three toppings). Actually it was buy a medium sized pizza and get the second one free. “You’ve tried the rest,now try the best,pizza and policy by the Hermanator”

  14. Swam- I didn’t make it to the straw poll. Can I still get in on that pizza deal?

    I’m waiting for the .SNL skit where the major candidates in the green room (pre-debate) send the guy they are interrupting and ignoring (Cain look-alike) out to get a pizza.

  15. In response to getalong’s “logic,” a more precise example:

    I was born and raised in Omaha, and my dad never voted for a Democrat in his life. He saw two kinds of African Americans: “good Negroes” and “troublemakers.” A representative of the former was the friendly busboy at the Blackstone Hotel. My dad actually knew his first name! An example of the latter: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

    Most conservatives still think that way. Based on his own comments, it sometimes appears Herman Cain does. Likewise Clarence Thomas (coincidentally married to a white woman from Omaha).

    And neither my dad nor getalong’s friend are examples of anything other than individual bigotry. The GOP’s long history of rich white male-slanted policies tell the real story, if you want to look honestly at the question. Herman Cain and Clarence Thomas are, essentially, examples of “go along to get along.” (Oh, your moniker! I get it!)

  16. joanr16 ..You’re right about the racism It’s not gonna disappear anytime soon. The whole birther movement was a confirmation that Obama wasn’t one of us…Only because of the color of his skin.

    What you’re describing is similar to concept that Malcolm X described as the difference between the field nigger and the house nigger. I’ve used that same concept to some degree except my examples were between the inmates and the Kapo in Nazi death camps. In exchange for a little privilege or a modest degree of acceptance they are willfully blinded to plight of their kind. Clarence Thomas is a prime example.. with his denial of affirmative action ever benefiting him, or even the need for affirmative action…Old bootstrap Clarence in the land of equal opportunity. Folks just called him” Patches”.

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