I Haz a Snark

I have to write fast because my laptop cooler stopped working and I have about half an hour before the laptop overheats. Dontcha love technology?

Anyway, here’s some first-rate snark — John Cole predicts that Turkey will be the new Iran. The Gaza-bound flotilla that was raided by Israeli commandos a few days ago was under the flag of Turkey. The “wingnut Wurlitzer” has gone to work demonizing Turkey. “I suspect by this time next year your average teabagging idiot will be convinced the Turks were behind 9/11 and the Holocaust,” John Cole says.

Among the people killed in the raid was a 19-year-old American citizen named Furkan Dogan. Dorgan, who was born in New York but has lived most of his life in Turkey, was shot five times at close range, four times in the head.

Steve M’s headline: MALKIN ATTACK COMING IN 5, 4, 3, …

How soon is Michelle Malkin going to spit on this kid’s grave? How thorough is the mistress of garbology going to be in rummaging through everything the kid ever said or did, along with the words and deeds of every one of his relatives up to eighth cousins twice removed, until she’s left no doubt that Satan would consider himself an evildoing underachiever by comparison? What Malkin’s going to do to this kid will make Joe McGinniss’s work on Sarah Palin look like press agentry. It’s going to be ugly. My condolences in advance to the family.

However, Little Lulu has been striving mightily to tie together Rod Blagojevich, Joe Sestak, Andrew Romanoff, the Services Employees International Union, Chicago politics from the beginning of time, and the entire staff of the White House all together in one big unified field pseudo-scandal. but, fiddle-dee-dee, tomorrow is another day.

Time’s up; gotta shut down before my hard drive fries. I’ll get a new laptop cooler tomorrow sometime.

15 thoughts on “I Haz a Snark

  1. The righties will say, “See, this kid is living proof that we shouldn’t have anchor babies. He was born here, lived a few years, and moved back to Turkey. And now this r@%heads death by Israel, our closest ally, makes it look bad. I mean, hey, it could have been a suicide, you know! Hell, I know if my name were Furkan, I’d sure as Hell kill myself. Just sayin…”
    I’m sure Malkin’s flying-monkey minions are on their way as I write this to sift through the Great Kills land fill, in Staten Island, searching for trash from 1995 that can tie this kids parents to Hamas.

    Before you buy a new cooler, try cold compresses. My mother swears by them…

  2. I’m sorry, my mistake, I’m sure they’ll change “Anchor Baby,” to ‘Ankara Baby” in this kids honor.

  3. Hey Michelle, I got a hot tip for your manic eyes: I regularly donate to Gaza relief! In fact, I just wrote ANERA another check yesterday, in case they need to invest in nunchuks to defend against Israeli “paintball guns.” And if I had the money, I’d do it again today… ah HA HA HA HA!

    Oh, and hot tip #2: there was a Rick Steves travel show on PBS last night in which he traveled to Turkey! He might be a terrorist! You’d better check into it.

    So take your best shot, crazy hater.

  4. Joan,
    You crazy radical. If they win Congress and the POTUS in the next few years, I’ll ‘see you in the Gulag.’ You want an upper or lower berth? I’ll save you one, if they give us a choice, that is.

    PS: I’ve sent them money before, too. It was a while back, though. I’d send now, but I still haven’t found a new job. Hell, I couldn’t even afford to send maha any $ when she needed it, and this is my favorite blog.

    • About laptop coolers — last year my laptop had a hard drive meltdown from being overheated, and the techie who fixed it recommended I use a laptop cooler. There are various kinds of these, but the one I’ve been using is like an extra fan. You put the laptop on top of it and it fans the bottom of the laptop while you’re working on it. However, yesterday I noticed the laptop was slowing down and the surface was getting very hot, so I checked, and the laptop fan was not blowing.

      Replacing the laptop cooler is way cheaper than replacing the hard drive.

  5. I have noticed a common characteristic in the Malkins and Becks and Limbaughs…They are completely insensitive to, oblivious to human suffering or the deaths of innocents. They are completely lacking in the human quality called empathy – (interesting that a childhood friend – and counting – of Cheney said that he completely lacked it.)

    As painful as it is to listen to them or read them, when I have because their words are gospel for too many Americans, I literally feel cold – one could compare it to shivers running up and down my spine.

  6. If Turkey follows through on their promise to escort the next aid convoy with naval vessels, and Israel attacks them, it will be interesting to see whether the U.S. has any qualms at all about siding with the Israelis against a fellow NATO member. (Ha! As if there were really any question about what would happen!)

    Our “special relationship” with Israel takes precedence over any other conceivable so-called “national interest”, and if it means the end of NATO, why, that’s a fair price to pay to keep Netanyahu and the Lieberman twins from saying mean things about us. It is self-evident to any rational being that the whims of the rightwing Israeli government are the most important consideration in the entire universe (after all, they have God and Sarah Palin on their side!), and anyone who says different is a jihadi sympathizer. And as for that phony American citizen (as if anyone named Furkan Dogan could be a real Merkin), it’s his fault for aggressively stepping in front of the poor innocent Israeli bullets (which were irreparably harmed by contact with his cranium, I might add!) /snark

    I nearly spewed my coffee when I read this in the WSJ editorial which John Cole excerpted:

    To follow Turkish discourse in recent years has been to follow a national decline into madness.

    Self-awareness. Try it sometime, dudes.

  7. MattH – as it was Dogan’s fault for “aggressively stepping in front of…Israeli bullets,” it will also be the fault of a Lebanese child when he steps on an Israeli planted landmine blowing himself up. A few years ago the Israeli government was asked to provide Lebanon with a map of the landmines it had spread across southern Lebanon before leaving it in 2000 and the Israeli government refused.

    Got to wonder how a Lebanese mother or father feels toward Israel as they lay the mutilated body of their child in a newly dug grave.

  8. Felicity,

    And they wonder why so many ordinary, non-ideological people in the Muslim world hate them, and why they are considered a rogue state throughout much of the rest of the world (the Good Ol’ USA excepted, naturally)–must be anti-Semitism. Yep, that’s it, couldn’t possibly be any other reason for it.

    My awakening (I used to be a reflexive Israel-defender myself since many of my best friends are Jewish and I went to a predominantly Jewish high school) came when I found out about the unprovoked and vicious Israeli attack on the USS Liberty in international waters, during the Six-Day War, and I began to open my eyes and heart to the plight of the Palestinians during the first intifada. I can only hope that more and more unthinkingly “pro-Israel” Americans lose their blinders because of incidents such at this one. At some point, you would think the hypocrisy would become glaringly obvious to anyone who is not a wingnut.

  9. Gulag, since I’m miraculously doing OK these days (financially anyway), I consider it a privilege to contribute a few extra $$ to the good guys, for those of you who just can’t.

    Upper bunk at the re-education camp, please. After the lobotomies, we can start a “gulag industry” making barbed-wire jewelry for our Malkinese overlords. It’d look great around Michelle’s neck.

  10. -Got to wonder how a Lebanese mother or father feels toward Israel as they lay the mutilated body of their child in a newly dug grave.-

    and how they feel about the US… the ammo and mines usually have US stamped all over them from what I have been told by a person from Iran…

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