Is Ted Cruz the Rightie Jesus?

Dave Weigel must be the hardest working man in blogging, because he seems to post 35 times a day and nearly always says something new. And he writes that the race for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination is already heating up in Iowa. Rick Santorum, Steve “Cantaloupe Calves” King, Rand Paul, and Ted Cruz are the current contenders. Weigel says Cruz is the current front runner, with only 29 months to go!

My latest story was written during the FAMiLY Leader Summit in Ames, the annual meeting of social conservatives (which gets larger every year but wasn’t quite large enough for its current venue) where Ted Cruz is king and … actually, let me try a new analogy. Where Mike Huckabee is Moses, Rick Santorum is John the Baptist, and Ted Cruz is the big J.C.

Ted must’ve really wowed them in Iowa. The crowd also heard from Cruz’s dad:

His father, Rafael, a Cuban-born pastor, precedes him with a speech that’s one-third about his son and two-thirds about how candidates who promise “hope and change” are paving the road to serfdom. “In 1976 I was shocked when I saw a government starting to implement socialist policies in this country, which perhaps the majority of this country didn’t recognize,” he says. “Having seen socialism at work, I clearly recognized the socialist policies of Jimmy Carter.”

President Carter’s actual economic policies were about as “socialist” as a Paul Volker fan club, but of course it’s what Carter represents to the crowd that’s important, not what he actually did.

It’s a hit. More than one activist tells me that the senior Cruz’s story takes away an advantage that has belonged to Marco Rubio—the crowd-pleasing parable of Obama as Castro. After a short break, Ted Cruz himself arrives, walking back and forth across the stage in black ostrich-skin cowboy boots, delivering old jokes about the root words of “politics” being “poly” and “ticks” before getting to applause line after applause line about his battles in Washington.

Cruz is a paleolithic piece of work, of course, but I’ve seen him in videos, and he seems a little more polished than fellow Texan Rick Perry. And yeah, your average junkyard mutt is more polished than Rick Perry. It’s all relative. I’m just saying that it won’t surprise me if Cruz does become a serious contender.

Weigel also writes that Rand Paul is not going to have an easy time of it if he goes for the nomination.

9 thoughts on “Is Ted Cruz the Rightie Jesus?

  1. Ted Cruz-ader, scares the living hell out of me.

    Rand Paul is an imbecile – and not even a high-functioning one, since he’s the Senator from a deeply Red State. An angry white button mushroom, could win in KY.

    Ted Cruz-ader isn’t.
    He’s intelligent, shrewd, manipulative, and charismatic.
    His only problem right now, is that he’s spending almost as much time pissing-off the politicians he deems to be RINO’s, as he is on pissing-off the Liberals.
    But I don’t think that will come back to bite him in the butt, since the base feels the same way.
    But, it could, if the power’s-that-be, still have any power in 2016. They’ll want someone they can control, like Reagan, Bush I (who was one of them, himself), Dole, W – and either McCain or Romney, if they’d won.
    Cruz-ader might prove to be too much of a loose canon for them to get behind.
    But with the base, that won’t matter – since they see those power’s-that-be, to be the ultimate RINO’s.

    Cruz-ader’s problems, if any, won’t come in the primaries, I don’t think. He could breeze through them.
    He may very well be the base’s JC.
    They’ll come up in the general, because he’s shown absolutely NO inclination to moderate – which, in theory, he’ll need to do, to win the Presidency.
    Is he smart enough to moderate?
    I suppose so.
    But how does he do that, if he’s not to also be labeled as just another RINO?
    The “True Believers” in the base, desperately want another “True Believer” to be their candidate for President.
    In their echo-chamber, they think the majority of the country, will see things their way, and he’ll win in a landslide.

    I don’t think he’s got exactly a GREAT chance as the Presidency.
    But, having said that, he’s one massive domestic terrorist event, ala 9/11, and/or another major economic downturn, away from winning the Presidency in 2016.

    And, as his father the Preacher shows, the boy will know how to use Christianity to his advantage.
    The father is a demagogue, and so is the son – proving, again, my old saying, that “The turd doesn’t fall far from the sphincter.”

    Ted Cruz-ader, if he, FSM FORBID!!!, wins the Presidency, may be the man who finally brings fully-flowered Fascism to America.
    And he will bring it here, holding the Bible, and waving our flag.

    Senator Ted Cruz-ader is man to be taken seriously.
    Very, VERY, SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. I hope so. We Dems could hardly RECRUIT a candidate better suited to convincing people to vote straight ticket– for US, that is.

  3. “Ted must’ve really wowed them in Iowa” …uh, well he really wowed em at the” Family leader summit”( whatever the hell that is) but the rest of us didn’t even notice. Perhaps there media buzz about it in Ames..but 22 miles to the south it didn’t even make a blip on the coverage radar…and lets face it: this is Iowa and there isn’t a hell of a lot going on so it isn’t like the news was just to packed to fit in coverage.

    Meanwhile, what I do find a bit strange is what is not happening at the Iowa state fair. What is not happening is J.C and his band of would be hopefuls are not making a showing. Ted cruz could draw the same crowd who goes to gawk at the giant balls on the prize bull( yes THAT DOES draw a crowd), yet none of the wannabe candidates in an open field are here. It’s just weird.

  4. “Having seen socialism at work, I clearly recognized the socialist policies of Jimmy Carter.”

    Yeeaaahhh… that’s not batshit at all.

  5. Ted Cruz could draw the same crowd who goes to gawk at the giant balls on the prize bull.

    That is hilarious!

  6. I wouldn’t like to look at them.
    But I DO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES me some ‘Rocky Mountain Oysters!”

  7. Wow, did you see where Rafael Cruz had bought a copy of The Founders’ Bible? None other than David Barton offering a book overflowing with lies about US history. I mean really, if you want to talk about un-American, to me there’s nothing worse than telling a bunch of lies about the founders.

  8. Stephen,
    Don’t you know, it’s ok to lie if the lie advances Christ and “his” mission?
    Ditto, Conservatism!

  9. You know, it didn’t occur to me until just now that cruz does mean cross. I’m sure that’s Jesus enough for some people.

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